About Me
Hi! I am Ayako (ah-yah-ko).
I am an autistic BIPOC Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC) in California.
I was born and raised in Japan and spent the first half of my life in the largely mono-ethnic, monocultural country mostly as a typical girl and woman (well, at least on the surface).
I was always fascinated by foreign languages and cultures which led me to dream about going to another country someday.
After I finally earned the opportunity to come to my dream country, America, I thought I was going to be happy forever.
It was not that simple, however, and I ended up going through major difficulties including clinical depression, anxiety, and various traumas.
“How come I can’t function in the society like everybody else?”
I was exhausted, embarrassed, and desperate. Self-love or self-compassion did not exist in me for a number of years.
In April 2016, I finally received an answer when I was diagnosed as autistic. I was not broken! I felt validated and relieved.
I have mixed feelings about the fact that it took me so many decades to discover my neurodivergent identity. Being a “quiet” Japanese woman certainly did not help, and I happened to be a pretty good actress, masking effectively both in Japan and in the U.S.!
I wish I could go back in time and hug my younger self and tell her, “You are enough.”
I do not want my past pain to be wasted, and I feel strongly now that one of my life missions is using my lived experiences to encourage and guide others.
As an issei (一世, "first generation”) Japanese, I have first-hand experience of living in two distinctively different cultures and a significant amount of compassion and appreciation for those with different cultural backgrounds.
As a mother of three children, I am also passionate about helping parents with challenging issues such as postpartum anxiety and depression. I have received training from Postpartum Support International (PSI) and 2020 Mom.
Sadly, autistic people tend to have histories of traumas throughout their lives. I have been trained in
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) by Trauma Recovery, EMDR Humanitarian Assistance Programs.
My passion is to guide my fellow autistics to live their lives fully and authentically without apologizing or feeling ashamed. I know from my personal experience that exploring what you love and genuinely desire often leads to healing and empowering yourself. I hope by embracing your autistic identity, you can re-discover and validate the strengths and uniqueness that you already have.
Would you be interested in going on a Healing Journey with me?